When he says “get used to taking cold showers in the dark” that really hit home
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Good idea.
Admittedly, caffeine has never been much of an addiction of mine, SUGAR on the other hand…
I’ve always had a hard time controlling my sugar intake.
Admittedly I’ve done a poor job of these things recently. I’m on levetiracetam which doesn’t really SEEM TO dampen my brain function but I’ve been stretched pretty thin, haven’t gotten much sleep, and I’m recovering from sickness so I haven’t been eating much, so all those things may be dampening my brain function enough for me not to notice.
Admittedly, this wasn’t as hard for me as waking up to find everybody worried about me while I FEEL fine.
Of course I’m not fine and my family has every reason to be worried about me but it’s hard not to feel a bit embarrassed/ashamed when I “wake up” to find everyone in my house around me worried about me while I’m in my underwear. I tend to have this shame response which makes me want to hide my mental dampening for fear of feeling stupid.
Do you have any recommendations to allow your own brain to recognize that it’s not your fault that everyone is worried about you?
For those without context this is about seizures.
My sister’s partner’s mom is a nurse who I’m going to see tomorrow, hopefully I can get a referral to a local neurologist that actually exists.
This still does make me sad though. I like to operate vehicles…
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Hey mate, fellow seizer here. At least you didn’t wake up in your undies to the paramedics 
Was this your first and second ever? Any febrile ones as a baby?
I’ve had 2 seizures to date, both right upon waking. One in 2017 and another in 2018. I was in good health, not crazy stressed, was getting normal enough sleep, etc.
All the tests came back clean so I got thrown on levitracetam (generic Keppra) to manage it and put on a watch schedule. Didn’t drive for the first month because I was scared but didn’t have any other issues so I picked it back up. Had another one 18 months later and upped the dosage. Stayed seizure free for 6 years but dealt with some awful side effects that are very common with epilepsy meds, unfortunately. KeppRage is real. Talk to your partner about it early as a possibility and to keep an eye out for it. It’s wrecked a lot of relationships for people while they figure it out. I’ve found taking a B6 vitamin daily to be very helpful and so have many studies.
Been on a plan with my doctor to taper down my dosage and no issues so far on the lowest allowable dosage🤞
Your body is going through a lot of internal stress from your injury, hopefully these are just a few one-offs to reset your brain and you won’t have to deal with it for long.
Have you had any auras yet?
Mine are the deja vu/detachment kind and it’s trippy as fuuuuck
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I think I might’ve actually done so to be fair, my memory of the incident isn’t great.
This was my first and second ever, none as a baby according to my parents.
That’s spooky to me, I like to think I’m a pretty agreeable person. Admittedly I take a bit of pride in that.
This is really good info though.
I’m not sure, yesterday the weather was pretty specific and felt like a late summer day during my childhood but I’ve had things like that all my life so I’m not sure if that was the weather and how my brain already works or if that was an “aura”
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Woah you just wrinkled my brain. I do that too. Specifically a summer day from a vacation when I was a kid, when the weather is just right. That’s really interesting, I’ve never considered that before.
On the positive, that has never started a focal seizure for me like weird ass deja vu episodes do.
Sounds like you’re in the discovery period still. Hopefully you’re a 2 and done situation 
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A song I found to be relatable.
I saw your pm.
I just want to give you the best reply I can, so I’m taking some time to think about it.
It’s important to know that you are not your brain. Your are merely the software running on that hardware. Detaching my mental self from my body has greatly improved the way i look at it and handle it. As @Venom121212 says, the experience can be very trippy so it’s important to keep your feet on the ground. Not being able to rely on your memories is pretty tough especially when you are in an argument with someone. You can’t be sure of anything you remember so you can only believe others. It’s like a PC running only on RAM and no HDD. (I’m an IT person lol)
But it will get better, I found Ive become more at peace since I realized just need to overcome and accept it.
In the end it seems I have become a lot more grateful for just feeling normal. Especially after having one of those episodes.
All that being said. I only had 1 real seizure and drove into a tree. Never had a “real” one after that.
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Big one imo. I’ve always heard that brain health starts with gut health. Cutting down on sugar is just healthy
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@Egtscs been thinking about you today man
Hopefully all is well 
I haven’t ridden in a week or so, so I’m gonna hit the streets today for you
I hope your s/o is holding up okay as well, it’s not an easy time for anyone, but rest assured you got some people thinking about you
Sending all the good vibes I can, keep being strong 
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I’ve been trying to be responsible and not risk another fall on my shoulder between now and my surgery but it’s tough man, it’s been like a whole month for me.
Hit some deep carves for me, I want your tires at the edge of their grip and those M2s at full lean for me dawg. Tear it up out there for me man.
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Or like me watering the entire job
33,000 gallons later we got it turned off. Shitty day
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Sometimes this is your inner self telling you to take a moment and take it slow. Take some time to be thoughtful.
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If it’s a mental health day there’s an esk8 in the picture, otherwise it’s procrastination 
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It’s a bright and sunny day today, and PTSD is a bitch.
I still see the flames whenever I close my eyes.
And no sk8.
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Hey! Do want to have a talk in private about this?
I have seen you posting this thread a lot in the last months… mostly negativity with no context.
Which sucks to hear but its hard to reply anything helpful without knowing whats up.
I understand posting all your tech.shit here in the public is also not a fun thing to do so if ya need someone to let it all out in private send me a pm.
Otherwise take care and go out and skate !
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Been having flashbacks to the inferno that was my home.
Every time I think of anything to do with it I have a panic attack.
I keep seeing the blaze.
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Thats hard, I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with that.
One thing I learned that can help with PTSD and flashback is writing. I dealt with flashbacks and memory loss for a long time because of some things I went through when I was young. Writing it down helped clear my head as well as control the episodes to the point that after a while they stopped completely. Hasn’t been an issue for me for over a decade now.
Therapy is another really good option to assist with gaining methods to recognise and control it when it happens. Im not sure about america but in Australia you can ger ten free therapy sessions via doctor refferal under medicare. It could be something to look into.
If you ever want an ear, feel free to reach out. I wont judge you and I’m happy to listen to you.
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Losing everything has been really hard. I know people are helping out and things will be better in the future, but I just keep having thoughts of doing something at home I’m used to doing, then having a panic attack remembering the inferno that anhialted everything I own.
Like I keep thinking of working or building an esk8, only to remember the puddle of slag that used to be my parts and tools. I keep thinking of using my destroyed computer, I keep thinking of making coffee in my melted aeropress.
I keep thinking of what I could have done to maybe save an esk8.
I’m going to talk to mental health tomorrow, they don’t work on weekends.
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Today is really hard for some fucking reason.
No skate, had to pay UPS an extra $100 for the ransom on my skate parts, still not enough parts in to ride.
Gotta do laundry today, gotta have it done by 2:30. Gotta get my stuff packed up and get into town today. No backpack. No transportation.
Owe someone money that I don’t have. Expected to pitch on pizza tonight with money I don’t have. No lighter, need to get one with money I don’t have. Supposed to head to my friend’s place in the city for the holidays… With money I don’t have.
Been screaming all morning too. Anxiety breakdowns sick ass. No psychiatry appointment until the bitch comes back from her overpriced holiday.
Everything is just too damn far away, too damn expensive and requires too much damn socialization.
Only time I’m calm is when I’m alone, eskating, and not spending money.
H8 money. H8 people. Luv esk8.
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