always something to keep available without any shame… thankyou 
@tech.shit I realize I’m late to this conversation. Whatever you do, never give up on life, no matter what!
You are a talented person, and have many ways to help yourself in the future with those talents. DO NOT GIVE UP ON THOSE!! PM me, I have a couple boards that are good that I will give to you.
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thanks. every day it feels like things are coming back together, but then they keep falling apart. esk8 kinda reflects that about life. Just rolling with the punches I guess…
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I want to talk about depression. Had some thought for a while now, especially since some wonderful people have recently reached out to pull me from the inky depths.
I did not realize I was so depressed, while I knew it, I didn’t consciously acknowledge it most of the time. I tried to fake being happy, and still do. I’m not sure if it works but it makes other people think you’re okay or getting better. I’m told this is what I’m supposed to do.
Esk8 is a huge factor for me. when I can’t skate, whether due to weather or my dumbass breaking something, I really feel it. the depression takes over at a moment’s notice. But when I skate it all melts away. The freedom and flow you get from esk8 is the drug and the therapy combined.
I am so grateful @hatman and @Pecos though, at a moment’s notice, they jumped in with some parts to get me back rolling. I can never thank you two enough. I was seriously losing the last shred of my sanity and you threw me a rope when I was at the brink of the abyss. I will stand by you guys until the end, thank you.
esk8 is my panacea.
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You’re very welcome. Anytime .
Hopefully when I’m in the area we can go for a cruise 
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Depression is far more wide spread than any of us know. I applaud you for reaching for help and acknowledging it. I firmly believe the more people who acknowledge it,the more people realize that they aren’t alone. Depression can make you feel alone,and sometimes just knowing that many many people suffer in the same way helps.
This forum isn’t a popularity contest it’s real people who are awesome,and like real people have problems despite being awesome. If everyone pretends everything is great all the time it’s not healthy. People here do care,put 1 foot in front of the other and repeat. Looking way down the road is terrifying for many,but most people can take another step,then repeat.
There are billions of people on this rock,somewhere someone probably has identical problems. Take care,and take care of others.
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Gonna vent a sec here. Been doing ok lately but not great. For some reason or another everything seems harder than it should be. Work stress is getting old and just not satisfying. Hoping some good weather and carving will help but I can’t shake this funk. Hope you are all doing good and staying safe out there.
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I think this is going around. I’ve heard it from people I interact with here a bit lately. Personally inflation has been a real problem, it cuts in to the better things in life.
Venting helps and people can see it’s not just them. It seems like every thing is harder now lately
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I bet it will. rain is depressing.
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Ok, my turn to vent… it’s been a whirlwind for the last couple of weeks.
Some unfortunate stuff recently happened with my roommate/best friend of 10 years, causing me to have to make some abrupt changes to my living situation. Without going into too much detail, he’s been with an abusive partner for a long time, and things came to a head when one of our neighbors got fed up and called the cops. Following this, a couple friends and I decided to finally come forward and try to open his eyes. It didn’t go well.
Between the drama with my buddy, and my dwindling financial situation the last few years, I’ve been forced to move in with some relatives in central Oregon so that I can take some time to get back on my feet. I’m very thankful to have this opportunity, I know that many people don’t have relatives who can save their asses like I do.
However, I’m pretty depressed. I have a lot of mixed emotions regarding the way me and my friend left things. Plus, I’ve been forced to leave behind the life I’ve been trying to build in Washington for the last decade. My friends, my job, a great crew to ride with in Seattle… had to leave it all behind. It just feels like I’m starting from square one. And maybe that’s not a bad thing, but it still feels like shit.
Anyway, rant over. Anyone around here live near Bend/Redmond Oregon? Let’s rideeeee
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I’m noticing I’m a complete hermit again, even in post-pandemic times.
people I know around my community have noticed too, people I almost never talk to have been telling me to get out of the house and talk to people more.
not really sure how to try or how to start. I hate making the first move in a conversation. Plus I assume most people just think I’m ugly or gross or creepy or a stereotypical white rapist abuser like the media says I am.
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Dm me, let’s get u back to full speed 
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hey buddy are you doing ? I read that you lost your esk8 equipment , Have you had the chance to ride since ?
Let’s be clear here. We didn’t waltz up to this conclusion, it’s just the obvious one after having you around for years.
If you seriously want to improve your situation and better yourself, get professional help. Nerds on an internet forum will only give you pity points.
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I’ve disagreed with your views and especially behaviour before, but I’m sorry that you’re having such a shit time. While I have limited sympathy for your reputation here specifically like Evan, doesn’t mean I want you to suffer
You’ve been dealt a rough hand, I think it’s wrong to try and deny that or say “everyone struggles”, but it’s not hopeless
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have had some helping hands reach out, so getting things back together slowly. haven’t been able to ride in a while though. right now I just try to keep my chin up hoping for the ability to ride soon.
life is hard, and there will always be people looking for a reason to hate me. I just gotta push through and work towards a brighter tomorrow I guess.
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you’re great at sniping chats at inopportune moments lol.
edited out
additionally, survival of the fittest is a fact of life, you can hate me for believing in it, but it’s still a fact.
Don’t drop this kinda stuff in this chat please, it’s patently false and argumentative. Find a different spot and keep this place on topic.
survival of the fittest is an inaccurate opinion about a misunderstood Darwinian model of evolution. Evolution is a survival of the most adapted to their environment and not the strongest- adapt to this environment please as it is a place to be more compassionate and empathetic towards each other.
@Evwan mind cleaning up your call out too? We are all flawed here but your post is off topic. Beef elsewhere please?
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Imma be honest with you my dude. I think you have a chip on your shoulder that everyone is out to get you whilst simultaneously saying things that rub people the wrong way. Whether this happens intentionally or reactionarily because of anger, ignorance, or compassion is irrelevant. When that happens, instead of empathizing with how it makes you feel when it happens to you, I often see you knee-jerk into a further negative spiral, lashing out at others until you’ve isolated yourself with contempt.
Let’s hold hands and take a cosmic step back together to view your experience here as non-human beings:
There is a large group of individuals from many backgrounds and beliefs congregating in a space over a shared joy of esk8. Several individuals have mindsets that make a lot of the group feel unwelcome or uncomfortable. An entire thread was made devoted to how regularly one individual is confrontational, rude, offensive, and overall negative. This same individual has had issues not paying for shipping charges as well.
Was this individual kicked out of this space? No.
Has this individual been offered emotional and physical help?
Yes.
Even from people whom that individual has rubbed the wrong way?
Still yes.
We want you to be a good human. If we didn’t want you here, we’d just call for a ban and move on with our nonsense. Everyone deserves the chance to improve themself.
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man, you not alone but in short , if you start to have conversation with your family, friends , neighbourhood, it will help you a lot , even if you feel like shit, do it ! the more you do it the more you gonna feel better and remember we all different and its the beauty of life to be a unique person, what i look in a person is the soul not what it look like , i am someone who also like to talk same shit like you, i think everybody love life but we need projects to Create our own self-esteem, something to Hanging on, sometime i want to quit when i have theses esk8 project or woodwork, and its a pain when anything work as it should be but i continue to ask help and finally i win and its great feeling and that why life its not easy ! if it was so easy it will become very boring , remember all what you have done in past is a manner to know what you are ! sometime my friends told me am getting old and starting to have some fears in lot of thing but i still have pride ! hey am almost 50year old and i ride electric board at 50mph ! so yes i am a fucking weirdo to do thing like that ! and i can tell you when i was young i have build lot of self confidence by taking stupid chance to almost killing my self in all of stupid thing i have done , but now i still have self esteem , and remember, all esk8 rider are badass peoples ! when you ride you know the danger, but you feel alive and if you fall off the board no matter what happen you want to go back riding and why ? life is the same as riding session if you fall off your board , you wake up and repeat and try again and you get better and better, normal peoples can’t ride theses board , they prefer to sit on a sofa and watch netflix lol! you not that guy ! you like to take chance ! and a brave person !
everything you do can change people life! even me ! because it push me to learn from others, if you feel to change thing you can do it but nobody can do it for you for sure ,
this guy change my mind so much it broke me in half the first time i listen to this video it’s brutal and i use it when i need it !
my english is bad but i don’t give up ! it took me 1 hour to write this but i DID IT!
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