Really sorry dude, I know shit can be tough, I’ve been in the same boat lately. Try to keep your head up, things will turn around.
Maybe post over in the wanted items thread and see if anyone has spare parts to help ya out?
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Sounds like you are in a bad place right now.
Remember, its just temporary.
Stay busy working on just one aspect of getting towards your goal, don’t let thinking about all of them at once, overwhelm you.
Exercise.
Reach out and call an old Friend, shoot some shit, do some ‘remember that time we…’
Hope things improve for you.
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What happened man? Have you been able to check any of the stuff out to see if anything got spared?
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Theres a pretty good chances those motors are fine, new bearings may be in the books down the road and they’ll be noisy as hell but some penetrating silicone oil would gettem spinning. I dont know if I would chance the VESC but someone might have some old 4.12s to get you back riding. Keep your head up man, you have no where to go but up from here.
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What happened?
Some of those parts look like they’re meeting their maker, but that doesn’t mean it’s your turn.
Most things can be fixed, and whatever it is keeping you from getting back on a board is definitely something most worth fixing.
Maybe you can make just one small piece of progress today even?
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You are in my thoughts man.
Hope today was a better day.
There’s a lot of good you can still do.
and doing even a small portion towards it, will help you feel a lot better.
How about some headphones and some skull ticklingly good, audible beauty?
My mom has got Alzheimer’s, comes at me frequently with the ’ I wish it were over ’ blues.
I sit her down with some of her favorite music, put my dog next to her, and she calms down, shut up, absorbs it, and smiles, and the ‘over it’ blues fade to gratitude, that there is such beauty, and joy, that is still accessible to her fried, demented brain.
It’s one of the only times she can still form a coherent sentence.
It is not time for you to check out man.
Seriously.
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this is hard! I wish you strength. I watched my girlfriends mom and dad die from this. If you ever need second hand advice, she and I would be happy to try to help. we did 15 years with her mom. 3 with her dad. I am on the hook to give her a humane death if the time comes, her sister will prosecute me for sure, no matter. we are active in the charity scene, old lady is on the board of directors. good luck and strength to you both
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My mum tried to commit suicide.
I never had much of a relationship with her before but i find it even harder now. I’m proud of her for getting her shit back together afterwards, but it pretty much cemented a divide there.
I don’t have any real advice to give here, just that life is much better while you’re alive. You only get one shot and I find it pretty difficult to believe there is anything after that.
You’ll feel better working through your problems than running away from them. Even if it is just one small step at a time.
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One of our best mates in college offed himself after a bad breakup and job loss hit him at once. He was a stellar guy and would absolutely have bounced back had we gotten to him in time. Don’t wait to reach out to your friends is all the advice I can give. You don’t always have that opportunity like you think you do.
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@tech.shit we’re thinking of you man, give us an update!
let’s figure out what you need to get a board running 
I’m sure some people can help out
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I had a childhood friend take their own life a while back.
A group of us kept a pretty tight group for close to 40 years.
They’d persuaded me to join facebook, and I saw how far apart we’d grown in our world views, them basically never having travelled, and me only wanting to go travel overseas again.
I grew to become really disgusted with the whole ‘look at meeee!!!’ nature of facebook, and when one of them started spewing party line propaganda, I deleted my account.
Soon the group texts started, blowing up my phone with political BS, and juvenile attempts at humor ,which were not really funny when we were 12, much less at 50.
I’d asked they start a new group chat and not include me, more than once, but my phone was blowing up, annoying the shit out of me. Ruining my day, often
Eventually I snapped, told them all to fuck off.
That I’d have to respect their intelligence and integrity to respect their opinions, and they continue to prove, they have neither…
…Go scroll through their contact list, and delete me.
…Good riddance mofo’s
That was a Friday, I turned off my phone, got a 30 pack of Tecate cans and simmered with hatred, anger, and regret I did not cut their belligerent and cruel, soul sucking malignant narcissistic toxicity outta my life earlier.
On Monday, I turned the phone back on.
3 voicemails and 2 texts awaited me.
Two were pathetic, heavily slurred ‘please call me back’ messages from one of the raging alcoholic, younger, dumber , louder and most politically prolific members of the group.
The third voicemail was from another former friend, telling me the first guy ate his dad’s rifle in front of his cheating wife, while his two teenage daughters were upstairs.
Apparently, some of the older professional victim narcissist group ringleaders decided it was all my fault. I keep in loose touch with a few of the apolitical members at fringes of the group, but have ghosted the rest who reached out to either fingerpoint or play victim.
I can’t help but wonder if he would have done it, had I not turned off my phone after telling them all to fuck off. If they had not all been radicalized by their facebook feeds designed to keep them scrolling, and feeling smart, and important.
He is a fvcking asshole, for doing that to his daughters.
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Ive been there mate. I put a gun to my head and had other attempted suicides before that. So in a way I can relate and youre not along in it at all.
I find looking at the little things, silver linings can really help. Small joys each day and thinking of things which make you smile. Writing your thoughts, letting the words flow to page however they pop into your head is another good method.
We’re all thinking of you and hope that you’re doing ok.
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My best friend killed themselves about 3 weeks ago with a purposeful overdose, it really sucks and it really hurts. I got a new board recently and my first thought was to facetime him about it and then I had to remember he was gone.
I miss my friend and i hate that i couldn’t help him, or that I picked the wrong time to sleep that day, or I should have known something was wrong and I didn’t, and i couldn’t and it kills me.
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That’s terrible.
I’ve had friends and family try that one unsuccessfully also. There’s little you probably could have, or should have done any differently. Hindsight might lead suggest otherwise, but it always does, so being hard on yourself isn’t useful.
It’s usually prescription anti-depressants in my experience, so I’m a little judgemental of the system that capitalises on this option. I can think of better alternatives that ought not be discussed in such a forum, except for exercise and pointing things that go fast like bikes or skateboards.
Although they may be a close friend, whatever they struggle with isn’t likely your doing and If I had to throw a bet on it, you’ve probably been there a lot for them, just by the fact you ride boards.
Still, sucks though aye.
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thanks for the replies guys, means a lot!
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Shit man, sorry to hear.
One of my good mates went through that a few years back. These things are easy to miss in people even those you know incredibly well. Please try and remember, it wasn’t your fault.
Focus on the best times you had together and take it day by day. The pain eases with time and memory. Look after your mental health and never be afraid or feel like you’re a burden for speaking up. We’ll hear and listen to you.
One of my idols, Chester Bennington commited suicide on july 20th usa time, one day before my birthday (woke up on the 21st to the news).The last photo of him was with his family laughing and playing board games.
Its very easy to mask pain.
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Pasted from an article:
The latest Healthy Minds Monthly Poll from the American Psychiatric Association (APA) finds that, early in 2024, 30% of adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while **10% say they are lonely every day.
Below begins my so awesome commentary
So while you are alone,you aren’t alone in being alone . I think imaginary social pressure leads us to pretend we aren’t lonely. If you find yourself in this situation,I’d encourage you to be honest about it,say if you post trying to meet people.
Say on a dating site,you might say ,I’m also looking for casual friends even if we are not a romantic match. Here is the thing,if you are lonely who do you have to impress or to posture for? No one really. Honestly migh make you a connection you migh not otherwise make . Also being honest might just be cathartic? In any case,I’m just trying to help people,I find it rewarding. Take care.
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always something to keep available without any shame… thankyou 
@tech.shit I realize I’m late to this conversation. Whatever you do, never give up on life, no matter what!
You are a talented person, and have many ways to help yourself in the future with those talents. DO NOT GIVE UP ON THOSE!! PM me, I have a couple boards that are good that I will give to you.
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thanks. every day it feels like things are coming back together, but then they keep falling apart. esk8 kinda reflects that about life. Just rolling with the punches I guess…
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