With respect (because I think you’ve actually missed the majority of his worst stuff), we’re mostly concerned about his consistency in being shitty, and that every time he’s given a pass because some specific thing isn’t that awful he comes back with more.
For a taste of what I mean he responded to this message:
This was three weeks after his sole moment of self reflection when he half admitted he was wrong to tell someone grieving a pet to get over it, and we went out of our way to thank him for at least doing that, summed up nicely here:
Was this used as an excuse at some point? I’ve seen enough mild backhanded comments to be familiar with DRI’s sentiment but I wasn’t aware of the magnitude. I was provided with a touch of the 'tism as well but it’s rarely an excuse for anybody’s actions. Gives us a bad name to use it as such.
Yeah I’ll send you a screenshot because I’m not 100% sure it’s fair to post publicly, he’s used it directly and then many times indirectly when talking about being attacked for being “bad at communication”
These feel like the things that need to be highlighted and given a bit of context. Being rude to vendors and negative is obnoxious but it feels like the least egregious moments are being highlighted here rather than the slew of genuine reasons you have to be calling him out.
I guess I made the mistake of thinking others were paying attention, appreciate the recap. Almost all of it has passed through here aside from his ban over transphobia, but the source for that is utterly trusted in my book.
there’s this fat piece of shit named Evan that wont leave my head. He’s screaming “ITS ME” but it’s probably becasue he listens to too much taylor swift
Yeah you’re not wrong, I can’t speak for Andrew but because the site mods are well aware of his history (he’s been temporarily banned at least once and they’ve actively been involved in trying to work out a fair way forward when there are obvious complicating circumstances with neurodivergence) the important part for me is pointing out the new information and how it fits in the general trend. It’s bad behaviour sure, but it reinforces that he hasn’t changed or learned despite the chances he’s been given, and we’d rather not wait for another big incident
Edit: yeah seems we’re on the same page. Also afaik one or two of the external things (transphobia ban) might be new info because they happened off-site, but I’ve been away from here for a bit so maybe they’re already documented
Posts inflammatory things
Insults/puts down other
Told to stop and doesn’t
Goes on socials and continues
Create an entire thread dedicated to him and the way he acts
Congrats! You gave him exactly what he wants, either get the mods to deal with him or mute him on your end, if someone is looking for attention and being obnoxious, just don’t give them what they want. If it bothered hoyt that much they could stop him from being able to comment on their posts within 30 seconds on the Instagram app, if his comments annoy you that much (I’ve never had a problem with him) just mute him on the forum.
TBF my position used to be “just mute him” too but after a certain point it’s not that he’s done something horrible to me, it’s that he’s making the place worse and it’s worth acknowledging. I nearly got chased off here in my first couple of months because some guy decided to be a homophobe and a troll, but a good few people spoke up in threads and it all got the mods attention. If they’d had the same approach that he wasn’t doing much to them but was just annoying I’d have been left to myself and felt like shit.
This isn’t 100% the same because he’s not really attacking a specific person but he’s definitely part of the reason some active users got discouraged or a casual browser didn’t bother signing up, and from personal experience it makes a difference if people call out bad behaviour so folks on the receiving end know it’s not their fault
Calling myself out
I found at least three posts specifically saying to just mute him
I understand what you’re saying and in an ideal world it would work, but from what people in this thread have posted, it seems like people have tried talking to him before and getting him to change and he just won’t, my first solution was to get the mods to take care of him, give an ultimatum, shape up or ship out. Muting him is more of a personal solution, if he really bothers you, its something within your control, nothing else really is, he will act how he wants, and as long as the mods don’t do anything there is nothing you can do besides just mute him.
Personally, having being called out by Andrew for being a shit cunt several times before, I appreciate being told that i’m being a shit cunt as it gives me a chance to reflect and improve myself and my behaviour.
People would do better to reflect on their behaviour when called out, rather than just getting their backs up and crying the victim.
