That was some powerful shit… 
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Love that song, me and my fiance were listening to it on repeat in the car a few weeks ago. So raw and powerful
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Ive had a rough couple months. Just gonna vent really quick here. (Really long sorry, shits complicated so I’ll just hit the short version for 10 pages)
Took a nasty fall and fucked my shoulder and knee from thanes on a road turtle that got painted black instead of removed. My confidence on thanes is shot so I don’t think i can ride them anymore, or at least for a while. Seattle roads are trash and even the trails have nasty surprises that make memorization of the trails critical for safety.
Hit some major snags getting my new build on pneumatics running but it’s working stable now and not threatening to re injure me with cutouts/faults/vesc-ubox bs finally.
Then covid hit my house, after hitting one person then just before recovering hitting the next person, then my kindergartener recovered the comes home with mono ive been out of work and sleeping for a month. So wiped and this round gave me that sweet ass brain fog, today is the first day i feel like I could be up for more than two hours at a stretch.
Work is is on fire and my emails are 500 deep and im a tradesman. Thats a new record for me but they will just have to make due without me- i have no fucks and am ?ok? on moneys so one good thing.
My dr retired 8 months ago so all my medical bs is on hold until I can get an appointment in October. Everything including my kids healthcare is all over the place and i tried to get those covid meds that are supposed to help but there were just too many hoops to jump through and I couldn’t focus long enough or be responsible enough to get them. No spoons left, my kids get them all. It’s the last month of school and my middle child was failing and needed support and guidance to get back on track. Finished with b average so win there
I take meds for executive function and depression secondary to my issues there and the Rx is super regulated so I HAVE to have a dr actively monitor and renew my perception and the workarounds my dr set up are expiring and the handoff to a new dr fell through. The new dr is no longer in this state so a bunch more spoons required that I just can’t provide. This got sorted some how but not without a big lapse that has added to my needs to play catch up.
In the middle of my most sick (had the rona and mono at the same time) my dad AND my father in law are in i the icu for unique non covid reasons for 2 weeks. Me and my dad are close but he is a recovering abuser and my siblings haven’t been able to forgive him - he is an asshole when he lets his guard down so they aren’t wrong. He is deeply flawed but so am i and he is actually making good progress. My siblings may come around if he keeps up and learns a bit more self awareness.
Father-in-law was touch and go for 5 days, like medivac helicopter shit. Thank fucking god my whole family is vacced up - if two of my kiddos hadn’t had 0 symptomatic covid it would have been so much worse. My house is too small to isolate properly or reasonably if more than one person is down.
The state of the union:
The fathers are recovering, everyone is negative, youngest has antibiotics for a nasty ear infection that the congestion caused but is on the mend. My youngest has been sick all year with everything including pneumonia so my constant anxiety over her health gets some breathing room. Wife is finally feeling better. She has struggles of her own but is on the upswing. Took the trash out. Cleaning the house. Schools over for the kiddos. Wife’s work is being super cool even though she has no sick time left. My job is understanding and im taking next week for recovery even though we’re short staffed. Got my meds straight but it takes a bit to feel 100%.
I keep breaking down crying randomly but it feels good because its like i can relax just enough now that i can breakdown for a few minutes without shit hitting the fan. Was up for a little ride yesterday and got an hour to myself and just cruising around my neighborhood. The air smells so good and my board felt like an extension of me. Looking at the sky and pumping through the carve, feels so good.
Times are hard, no one gets out without some trauma, it will pass. Love those around you honestly
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Hey dude, you’re doing great from what I can tell. Mad props. Once things free up a bit more for you let’s plan a ride.
My whole house just got over COVID too, seems like it’s going around again now that the weather is nice and people are leaving their houses. But hey, now we’re all stocked up on antibodies for the summer!
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can you send some my way? If it is really getting worse again then I’ll need them since my immune system is not the best 
My lungs are already fucked up without covid and also long covid has the same symptoms I already suffer from due to other diseases and I really don’t need those getting worse (not listing them because the list is too long to the point I forget some of them when listing everything out)
Being treated like a drug addict when you’re just trying to get the medication you need to function daily is the absolute fucking worse. I’ve had to deal with similar problems and it fucking sucked so I can’t imagine how much worse it is when you also have to take care of kids. I was able to drop everything I had planned for the day to get things handled asap which I know isn’t feasible with kids.
When I moved from NC to TX I was so glad when the new PCP I choose first didn’t make it hard to get a new script from him. He even helped me out when my insurance decided that my old documents stating I couldn’t take the cheaper meds didn’t count anymore. Despite them also telling me they wouldn’t expire until 2027 in the same phone call. They never gave an answer as to why I needed to redo it when it wasn’t expired and I ended up paying the full cost for 6 months as a result.
The shitty meds they wanted me to take (adderal old formula) cause me to feel like I have a railroad spike through my head and having suffered through that for one week years ago was hell. New doctor just took that account as is and wrote I had an allergy to Adderal in my file. I couldn’t get those old medical records to show him but he either didn’t care or knew how shit adderal is. 
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Hi guys,
As some of you know in June I suffered from an epileptic seizure while driving my car and hit a tree and a person… I did not know I have epilepsy, I did have weird symptoms that I posted about here before.
I have been riding my eskates really hard since because I don’t have another transport option. (I have been medically banned from driving cars for a year)
Sinds June I have already blown up 1 vesc (prototype from @EboardSolutions ) which was the fault of a shorted motor. This made me really sad as this was the last thing i was testing for Frederick…
After that I blew some evolve motors etc but those I don’t really care about.
Also blew up 1 mtb motor…
So now I only have my stupid e-bikes left…
Feel like if I still would have my car they wouldnt have died, but now because they get used a lot more extremely they kicked the bucked.
Also my company stopped paying me and now I can’t even afford a new belt…
I guess I just feel kinda bad about all this and you guys are the only ones who could understand.
Thx for reading
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If you ever want to talk, I’m here. Had my first epileptic seizure a few years back and then another a year after the first and was facing the 1 year driving ban as well. The auras are nuts to deal with before you know how to interpret them.
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Hey, what all do you need to get skating again?
Just a motor and/or a vesc right? I have some random parts that aren’t optimal but might work (And there’s no way I’m the only one)
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Don’t worry about my gear. I still have my job luckily. I would really not want to anyone to send me free gear if someone else could use it/not afford it.
That being said, I have a huge pile of 10s lingyi escss if someone wants one.
From ecomobl hub boards
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I am going to send you a pm as I have some questions
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Can be opposite with positive things
Hi,welcome, this. Is the mental health topic,lots of understanding members respond. I’ve had better experiences with my board help my issues than professional help . That said some one here will make time to listen if people need it.
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That’s some horrifying shit, I have experience with a few of those things individually but not gonna pretend to properly understand. Hope the family is recovering overall, but even being upright is a victory in that situation
No need to reply, but PMs open if you want to bitch about access to those kind of meds or family or whatever
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Great topic to cover and this is uplifting to see all and hear all of your stories about how everyone pushes through the lows. I’ve just hit another bottom in life but not as bad as it has been so I knew I had to get out somehow that was fun. I just ordered a Eboard and hoping it will help me crawl out of this hole. The main reason I got to the low again is because of a layoff from my job so now I’m struggling to stay busy and save money at the time. And of course I have the short end of the stick with adhd, depression, anxiety, bipolar. Medication is keeping me at bay from total meltdown. If you need to talk people I’m always here to listen. Life is rough but having a support group like this is helpful. I can’t believe the amount of good humans in just this one thread. I’m happy I found you guys. Thanks for reading and keep your head up
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Happy to have you here too, what kind of riding are you hoping to do when the board gets here and have you done much skating before?
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It’s getting to be that *Time of year again “ please spare a thought to your mental health and that of others. Reduced daylight has an effect. Try to be active, endorphins make you feel better but you got to want it, force yourself to get up even though it’s cold and nasty.
My mood goes to shit around Xmas . I am often oblivious to how my mood effects others. So even if you don’t care to take care of your mood, do it for the people who love you
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Been dealing with some really bad mental issues recently including suicidal thoughts and depression. The system is unnerving and scary if you’re not used to it… Esk8, or at least the promise of doing it again someday, is the only thing that’s been keeping me holding on.
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Something to remember, I am speaking from personal experience,people who try suicide and fail are happy to be alive. I am available to you or anyone to talk. I’m just another person struggling, can’t promise I’ll say the right thing.
I have seen suicide, I found my mother at 6, last suicide to affect me was a few months ago. I’m no try to make anyone feel bad, but suicide murders the people in your life. Nothing ever heals it. Life is a struggle, you are not the only one. With so many people on the planet there is probably some poor fucker with exactly your issues
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The thing is it’s not just the hardship and struggle of life, it’s my own choices, my own experiences that are haunting me mentally and causing nearly physical anguish. But I still love the person I am. It’s so complicated and difficult to wrap even my own mind around.
Lol, reading that though I just sound like every other nutjob whining to a shrink.
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It doesn’t sound like whining to a shrink to me. Being Stigmatized for reaching out during mental health crisis is the problem. We all have shit to work through and a little self empathy is good. It’s not easy out here and we all fuck up and need forgiveness and compassion for ourselves and for others. This is a hard time of year too. The cold and the wet and it’s really fucking hard to keep it together. You’re not alone.
It’s also hard to put it into text on a forum without sounding cheesy, but it’s really hard and embarrassing to even put it out with the Anonymity of this medium. That takes guts, just don’t stop there. Full send is the only way through man. If you want to chat hit me up, I not good at this shit but I can muddle through when i need to 
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