im using a broken laptop right now as well. no cpu fan but doesnt matter only 14watt tdp so it doesnt really hurt itseelf
Yeah I have a pile of broken laptops here. I’m gonna spend today going through the, seeing if I can power any and turn one on, and if any have screens I can see.
vga out just in case
Fair, but when I have a working esk8, even things that aren’t easy are still fun, or at least stimulating.
im going to start recording all the stuff i do, i cant remember half the solutions i come across and then waste time… 
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Yeah I’ve often thought about a cheap head mounted action cam. Older GoPros are getting cheaper and the knockoffs are getting better.
Just so I can have a POV recording of everything I do so I can look back to see exactly where I fucked up, or what crazy thing I managed to do to fix something.
I lost a friend a couple weeks ago. Not 4 hours after I saw him, he was shot several times and died while first responders tried to help him. He was a month younger than me and has a 4 year old son. I don’t think I was capable of processing that, I still don’t think that I am, but it hit me today at his celebration of life. He’s gone and I’m angry, and confused, and upset.
We rode together, skipped class and got into trouble together, we we’re homeless together and he’s just gone like that. I know everybody in my situation feels this but fuck dude, it’s not fucking fair.
The celebration was beautiful, I wept into the arms of friends I haven’t seen in half a decade as if we’d never stopped talking, I think we all needed the comfort. He was deeply loved.
I’m not sure what I need out of this, maybe I want to feel heard, maybe I just want to vent, I’m confused and frustrated and sad. Processing through these things is so difficult, I’m trying to do better, to approach struggle with the intention of overcoming, or accepting. But holy shit it’s so frustrating to feel a sense of responsibility to be mentally healthy, self destructive patterns are so much easier and more comfortable to me, they’re familiar and simple and numbing which I do desperately want.
Anyways,
Fly high Aidan.
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I know that I am not capable of truly understanding what that must be like to go through, but I am sending infinite virtual hugs your way. It sounds like he was a good guy, and I’m sorry that his life was cut so short.
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so on a more positive note for this thread, I got hooked up with a psychiatrist so that’s a big step towards some results.
And the new VESC is in the country, so the board will ride again!
funny how the state of my mental health and the state of my esk8 seem to go hand in hand lol
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Um, I beg to disagree. I actually find a very real parallel with women and boards. I’m cruising along thinking everything is fine, and THEN, I find out shit is not cool and in fact my board(chick) decides that hanging out in some bushes tits up is suddenly more attractive than what we were doing together.
“ oh you’re hurt? I thought you liked fast risky things?”
I have never won an argument with my board or chick and never will.
However, my life was in the shitter last 2 years, no money, shitty job, depression, pain.
Then I got pissed off at myself, went out on a limb, landed an awesome job, just bought a new car, still can’t believe I got 500$ for my old car.
For me depression can be like a crazy destructive lover, “ it’s so good!”& hurts so bad!
I don’t have anything profound to say, except lif is a struggle. At least clean water comes out of the tap, I always feel thankful I don’t have to go miles to get shitty water, perspective is important. Good luck
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You are not alone.
I’m sorry for your loss. I’m not sure why I always think I can help?
However, people live on in our memories and stories.
My divorce was like a murder, or a Steven king novel, I found salvation in being super dad. Do what you can for his kid if situation allows, even if it’s just stories about his dad occasionally. .
Living well and caring is the best revenge for most things. Perhaps organize a college fund for his kid?( I got nothing, just want to help, good luck)
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Oof this hits. I just finish hiking 3km with 10L of hose water. I’m living in the bush kinda so if I want water to pour from my taps, I gotta get it myself. This is a big part of why my esk8 is so important.
I am quite proud though to say I figured out plumbing and got my taps working with sunlight powering the pump.
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Sorry, it is one of my perspective things. I get down on stuff, so when I get water I always think “ at least I’m not walking 5 miles to get shit water in a gas can on my head” as I see less fortunate people in other places doing.
I don’t know if a well is possible, but I’ve seen an helped drill one with a power drill. There are a few on YouTube
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yeah a well is probably possible, though it would be pretty expensive to drill one, and I don’t own this land so I’d be “destroying someone’s property” if I tried.
I’m looking into rainwater catchment. I know jack shit about plumbing besides that it’s used as an analogy for electronics.
For now (or rather soon) I’ll just be hauling jugs up the hill every day or other day.
A while back, on a surf trip in central America, I and 2 others managed to access a surfbreak whose road should not have been passable, but the rainy season had not really kicked in, and we made it.
Then it started to rain, hard, and the road out became impassable.
Worst of all the surf was small and gutless.
After a week we hiked out and thumbed a ride for supplies, and hiked back in.
A few days after that we ran out of water, but had some bleach.
We each carried a 5 gallon jug a mile or so to the creek and filled them.
My two companions kept stopping and pouring more and more.of the weight out, to the point they barely returned with a gallon, where I carried all 5 the whole way.
The next day I caught one of them tipping my jug, and wasting water to clean his toothbrush, and went absolutely apeshit on him.
We were all at each others throats, as the surf remained poor, but then a swell arrived, the winds turned offshore and dry, and we had a world class beachbreak all to ourselves for over a week, as no one else could drive in.
Have not looked at a water jug the same way, in the 26 years since.
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When the water gets low i’ve seen it get insane
I had to hike 15 miles with a 40lbs blue pail bc the rest of the group was “too tired” to continue with their jugs
If I didn’t man up and break my back we wouldn’t have made it out it there, I had to huff it back to the trailhead some 12 miles farther a few days later, after we had an altercation and people sat down and did not move
That trip made me realize to bring only people you trust, as once it’s gets hard it becomes every man for himself
When you hear people say the scariest thing in the wilderness is another human, I can absolutely attest to that.
I can’t buy those big water jugs anymore, I tell people to pack their own water and carry their own shit, No group carrying. I learnt that lesson one too many times
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I hear you there.
The guy who I caught grossly wasting water to wash his tooth brush, I remained pretty tight with for a few years, but questioning his character more and more, our friendship more and more.
I kept wondering why I was still friends with him and pulled back.
He went full on malignant narcissist with the help of social media, and I realized he basicallly treated friendship, as a zero sum game.
I told him and several others with similar character flaws, to go into their contacts list, and delete me, and good riddance.
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the friends we love the most always seem to dissapoint even more. the dagger then comes in from family members
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I’ve been learning over the years that this is impossible. My young undeveloped autistic brain didn’t get this though which fucked me up.
People will always feel like they’re giving more than they’re getting, and that’s the way it’s supposed to be, that’s okay. Altruism is a virtue.
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