You’ve really gotta hand it to those blind prostitutes
8 Likes
What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?
You’re too young to smoke…
6 Likes
A guy is walking along, looks across the street, and sees a man walking a three-legged pig. He goes over and says, “Excuse me, sir…I want to ask about your pig…” Before he can finish his question, the pig owner interrupts him and says, “Well, sir, this is no ordinary pig. This pig graduated with a law degree from Harvard, it once dashed into a burning building and saved a little girl, and it was knighted by Queen Elizabeth only last month.”
The man said, “Well that is certainly amazing, but what I really want to know is this: why does the pig only have three legs”?
The owner laughs and says, “Sir, when you have a special pig like this, you don’t eat it all at once!”
7 Likes
Spell IHOP then say NESS
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My local IHOP happens to be on Cox Lane and is very commonly referred to as…
"The IHOP on Cox"
I think this joke will go over well there.
9 Likes
-Mary! What are you doing with dicky up there?
-we are having sex mom!
-jesus! I thought you were smoking…what a relief
3 Likes
Up dog.
2 Likes
Lazily made just for you bud
6 Likes
5 Likes
Paula definitely loves the D
2 Likes
When you stay there, are you just D’ing around or acting the D, or?
Confused
The Maître D there must be hung like a donkey
5 Likes
Two atoms in a bar.
One says, “dude, you have just stolen an electron from me"
The other says, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…”
12 Likes
NY University is having a frat costume party, the the theme of which is to dress as an emotion. (All statements made with a thickk ny accent)
One guy shows up in a green leotard, bro answers the door like "wtf are you s’pposed 't bee?
Dude answers “well I’m greeeen wit’ envy” bro says c’mon in.
Another guy shows up in a pink leotard, says " 'ay I’m tickled pink ova 'ear". Bro: “c’mon get in here ya freekin puss-bag”
Then 2 naked guys show up, one has his dick in a pie, the other with his dick in a pear. Bro answers the door like “Ooooh! Wtf what are you s’possed t-be?!!”
Guy with pie says “well I’m fucking dis custad”(translation: custard)
Other guy: “Ya an I’m DEEP in dis Pear”
Mic drop
4 Likes
I’m fuking ‘dis custard
1 Like
I can’t even laugh about this anymore 
3 Likes